Conversation for Parents
When should I have the conversation with my child?
Of Georgia high school seniors who have tried alcohol, 35% had their first drink before they were 15 years old. This is why it is best for parents to consider talking with their kids about drugs and drinking starting around age 10 or 11. In today’s society, there is a chance they have already been offered something illegal, or at minimum, their friends could be talking about it in potentially positive ways. They have probably seen movies or have listened to music that glamorize the use of drugs or alcohol. It is important that your child is getting “the whole story.”
Setting the tone
It’s important to understand, this can be an uncomfortable topic for teens to talk about with their parents. For your teenager to feel safe enough to open up about their thoughts on drugs and alcohol, it is important to help set the conversation tone early. As a parent, the calmer and more relaxed you are, the more effective these conversations tend to be. Your kid has a harder time staying cool in a stressful situation than you do because their brains aren’t fully developed yet, so it is that much more important that you do.
Having an open and honest conversation, asking questions
If you do not have any credible evidence that leads you to believe your teen is using drugs or alcohol, it is important to stay away from making accusations based out of fear that your child may have already experimented with drugs and alcohol.
Questions you can ask, and then positive statements
Let your child know where you stand
Kids who have meaningful conversations with their parents are less likely to go on and abuse drugs and alcohol. In fact, the number one reason kids choose not to use drugs or alcohol is that they don’t want to disappoint their parents. While having this open conversation, you may encounter your child asking the question, “Did you ever use drugs?” Unless you have never tried drugs or alcohol, this may be a difficult question for you to answer. Some parents who have used drugs in the past choose to lie about it, but they risk their kids finding out, and thus losing trust that they are trying to build with their child. But you can turn this question into a teachable moment. This topic provides a great opportunity to speak openly about the challenges you faced as a teen; reasons why you may have chosen to drink or try drugs; how you learned of their harms, risks and consequences; and why you want your kids to avoid making the same mistakes you did.
When to call a professional
If you are concerned your teen has a problem with drugs or alcohol, it is best to consult with a professional. As a parent, you are emotionally involved with your child, which can create “blinders” to their behavior, making it hard to determine whether or not they may need to seek help. Start by observing whether your child has experienced:
Granted, teens can go through phases exhibiting behaviors such as these. But if they continue, or if your teen starts to experience negative consequences because of these behaviors, it is best to allow a qualified professional to give you their honest assessment. They will tell you from years of professional experience working with teenagers whether your child’s behavior is “just a phase.” If you are aware that your teen is using drugs and alcohol, please use our resources page.
If you have questions or feedback, please e-mail us at DrugFreeFayette@gmail.com.
Want some more tips? Check out ParentUp, which includes this video:
Of Georgia high school seniors who have tried alcohol, 35% had their first drink before they were 15 years old. This is why it is best for parents to consider talking with their kids about drugs and drinking starting around age 10 or 11. In today’s society, there is a chance they have already been offered something illegal, or at minimum, their friends could be talking about it in potentially positive ways. They have probably seen movies or have listened to music that glamorize the use of drugs or alcohol. It is important that your child is getting “the whole story.”
Setting the tone
It’s important to understand, this can be an uncomfortable topic for teens to talk about with their parents. For your teenager to feel safe enough to open up about their thoughts on drugs and alcohol, it is important to help set the conversation tone early. As a parent, the calmer and more relaxed you are, the more effective these conversations tend to be. Your kid has a harder time staying cool in a stressful situation than you do because their brains aren’t fully developed yet, so it is that much more important that you do.
Having an open and honest conversation, asking questions
If you do not have any credible evidence that leads you to believe your teen is using drugs or alcohol, it is important to stay away from making accusations based out of fear that your child may have already experimented with drugs and alcohol.
Questions you can ask, and then positive statements
- Start by asking your teen what is happening in their schools and amongst other students, whether drugs or alcohol are talked about, or used.
- Ask what they know about drugs, and where they search or ask for information about drugs and alcohol.
- Consider that while it is important for them to understand the consequences of using drugs and alcohol, using “scare tactics” can be very off-putting for teenagers. They are more likely to hear a conversation centered around the positives of abstaining from chemicals that affect their brain development. These positives can include anything from getting in to a good college, performing well in sports and clubs, attracting trustworthy friends, and learning in a healthy way how to deal with natural emotions such as fear and insecurity, which come up for everyone.
- Assure them that you care about them, and are there for them.
Let your child know where you stand
Kids who have meaningful conversations with their parents are less likely to go on and abuse drugs and alcohol. In fact, the number one reason kids choose not to use drugs or alcohol is that they don’t want to disappoint their parents. While having this open conversation, you may encounter your child asking the question, “Did you ever use drugs?” Unless you have never tried drugs or alcohol, this may be a difficult question for you to answer. Some parents who have used drugs in the past choose to lie about it, but they risk their kids finding out, and thus losing trust that they are trying to build with their child. But you can turn this question into a teachable moment. This topic provides a great opportunity to speak openly about the challenges you faced as a teen; reasons why you may have chosen to drink or try drugs; how you learned of their harms, risks and consequences; and why you want your kids to avoid making the same mistakes you did.
When to call a professional
If you are concerned your teen has a problem with drugs or alcohol, it is best to consult with a professional. As a parent, you are emotionally involved with your child, which can create “blinders” to their behavior, making it hard to determine whether or not they may need to seek help. Start by observing whether your child has experienced:
- a decline in school or work performance
- noticing that their friends talk about alcohol or drugs a lot
- missing or skipping school
- loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy
- feeling withdrawn or irritable for more than a day or two
Granted, teens can go through phases exhibiting behaviors such as these. But if they continue, or if your teen starts to experience negative consequences because of these behaviors, it is best to allow a qualified professional to give you their honest assessment. They will tell you from years of professional experience working with teenagers whether your child’s behavior is “just a phase.” If you are aware that your teen is using drugs and alcohol, please use our resources page.
If you have questions or feedback, please e-mail us at DrugFreeFayette@gmail.com.
Want some more tips? Check out ParentUp, which includes this video:
